Categorized | Environment, Features, Media, National

The Dirty Dash– World’s Muddiest Race

 

A Perfect Fit for Humboldt
(VIRAL VIDEO)

 

Skippy Massey
Humboldt Sentinel

 

Have you ever said to yourself, “Marathons are too easy, and Triathlons are for sissies?”

Well, we haven’t either.  Those races are hard.  Really hard.  Think about it.  The first person to run a marathon actually died.  Yes, he died!  And we surmise he didn’t have fun along the way.

Welcome to a new kind of race:  THE DIRTY DASH.  It’s a perfect fit for Humboldt to do.  Or shamelessly imitate.  It’s independently zany, it’s crazy, and it’s wildly colorful.  A racy race that would cause your Grandma to blush her bloomers.

dirty dash1This dirty race puts all other races to shame.  The Dirty Dash is a mud run obstacle course where military boot camp meets your inner five-year-old fantasy.  It converts boy to man, and then man to swine in a really dirty sort of way.

It’s also fun.  And we mean Way Fun.

You’ll need endurance to trudge up mountains of sludge, courage to overcome uncompromising obstacles, a complete lack of shame to wallow in pits of mud, and then a smile to show how happy you are making it through to the end!

This mud-run obstacle course could become your new guilty pleasure and your Facebook wallpage photo.  Going solo or with some of your dirtiest, filthiest, & uncouth friends, you’ll be able to look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I am a Dirty Dasher and there’s no shame in my game!”

dirty dash3Then, and only then, can you proceed to clean yourself off like the cheeky monkey you are.

Eleven 3-5 mile charity races are run throughout the Pacific Northwest and the Southwest– from Oregon to New Mexico– from June through September.  Some of the shorter races also sport a 3 ½ mile shortcut.  Why not?  Everyone loves a shortcut.

They don’t care much about timing the races, either.  It doesn’t matter.  They also run rain or shine, saying:

 “Sdirty dash2eriously?  How can the weather be bad?  Shame on you; your glass is clearly half-empty.  If it rains, even better, more mud!  The Dirty Dash is as dependable as (and far less subsidized than) the US Postal Service and goes on rain or shine, global warming or global cooling.

If it gets too hot, feel free to bask in the mud pit for longer and if it gets too cold, feel free to drop into the fetal position with your teammates and cuddle for warmth.

However, rule #1 is safety first, so if there is lightning, we’ll postpone waves and running until it blows over.  In case anyone was wondering, rule #2 is complete and brutal honesty amongst group members, and rule #3 is everyone hooks up with a local.”

Because it’s a family race, there’s only one version to do.  You Dirty Dash however you need to and however long it takes.

You can walk.  Run.  Crawl.  Wallow.  Skip.  Clamber.  Lollygag.  Grovel.  Just be yourself and just finish before sundown so the coyotes and mosquitoes don’t git ya.  You can run in sublime running shorts or dress up in a flashy costume.  Pets and kids are welcome, too, but not necessarily in that order.  They’ll also take you as on as a volunteer and ease you into this dirty lifestyle nice and slow.  Keep in mind there is an age limit.  It’s 106.

dirty dash5You can run it by yourself or with a team of your favorite friends, enemies and friendemies.  Whoever likes to get dirty or whoever needs to simply get down and dirty in the worst way.  Teams may encourage each other, mock each other, or drag each other over obstacles.  “Feel free to clasp hands, smack bottoms, or open mouth kiss,” the rules say.

Did your last personal record run have a 175-foot slop n’ slide in the middle of it?  Probably not.  And a final finale mud pit?  Nope.  Sprinklers and showers and water blasters?  Heavens to Betsy, no.  While we’re at it, let’s throw in a Pig Sty, a Hog Wash, and a Piglet Plunge.  Now
that’s what we call a race.

Wherever they go, runners completely change the landscape to an ultra muddy hue, making for the most interesting and diverse course ever run.  The course itself, as you can see in the video, is full of obstacles ranging from mud pits, water slides, tires, logs, hay bales, wood structures, to just plain mud, more mud, and even muddier mud everywhere.  Uh, did we say mud?

dirty dash7Why do it?  Exercise?  Maybe.  Camaraderie?  Most likely.  Fun?  You bet your mud-balls.  Good cause? Check.  Besides benefitting your cardiovascular system, each muddy Dirty Dash benefits local charities through the registration fees, online donations, water balloon sales, and shoe donations.

In this viral video best viewed at full-screen resolution, cinematographer Devin Graham filmed a Dirty Dash race taking place in Soldier Hallow, Utah.  The race, like most of them, completely sold out in record time.  Let’s face it:
people love to get dirty when it’s socially acceptable.  A good
Dirty Dash race beats a bad diaper rash case.

It’s a perfect fit for our area– and it would be a muddy hit for someone getting it together for the Humboldt peeps.  Half of our towns would turn out to run and watch.  We would, too.  In two shakes of a kitten’s whiskers.

If you know of someone in our running community interested in putting on something similar, share this with them.

Six Rivers Running Club?  HSU?  Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence?  The Kinetic Sculpture Race or the babelicious Rutabaga and Humboldt Roller Derby Queens?  Justin Bieber? (Sorry, all you Beliebers).  Send it along …and we’d thank you for it!  We’d love to see them all get a bit dirty.  Sarah Palin and Anderson Cooper, too.  We’d pay for that.

dirty dash6After all folks, this isn’t Survivor.  It’s more like Jackass mixed with Dirty Jobs mixed with America’s Got Talent.  And we’d like to have more fun with like-minded Humboldt folks and friends and cheeky monkeys everywhere.

No time for nattering nabobs of negativism here!  It’s time to smile– and run a muck.

If you’d like to know more, you can find out all about these mud races in this link

http://www.thedirtydash.com/

Happy Running.

* * * * * * * *

dirty dash4

(For our Humboldt County runners)

2 Responses to “The Dirty Dash– World’s Muddiest Race”

  1. Running24 says:

    good share.

  2. Stephan says:

    What a cool post and thoughtful webpage. I liked it!! Keep it up, loved the race and the mud and glory.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks


Leave a Reply

HumSentinel on Twitter

RSS Progressive Review

  • Word
    GOD'S PHOTOS […]
  • The corporate invasion of the WTO
    Economy in Crisis - A short while ago the World Trade Organization adopted the first worldwide trade reform in its history. The agreement means the WTO will introduce new standards for customs checks and border procedures. This is just another example of how the U.S. has given over their sovereignty to the WTO. Now unelected bureaucrats can make and pass tra […]
  • Blackwater still making big bucks out of our futile drug war in Aghanistan
    Gawker - The logo and the company name change, but business stays the same. The mercenary syndicate formerly known as Blackwater has raked in more than half a billion dollars from U.S. contracts to thoroughly fail at stemming the terrorist-supported trade in Afghan opium, according to a new government report.That report, part of a larger investigation by the […]
  • Word
    The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office. Their principal device to that end is to search out groups who pant and pine for something they can't get and to promise to give it to them. Nine t […]
  • Unresolved Indiana issues
    How would you deal with the issue raised by Professor Emeritus James Kaufman of the University of Virginia: "Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations." […]
  • Links: Arts
    Arts news Music news   ESSAYS How to keep people going to museums   HUMANITIES What's a humanities? Five years of failure   MEDIA Arts & Letters Daily Arts Journal […]
  • Morning Line
    In our moving average polls, Bush amd Walker are tied among Republicans at 17 points each and Paul is third with 10 points […]
  • Bachman needs some therapy, quick
    […]
  • Governor orders 25% reduction in California water use
    NY Times - Gov. Jerry Brown ordered mandatory water use reductions for the first time in California’s history on Wednesday, saying the state’s four-year drought had reached near-crisis proportions after a winter that brought record-low snowfalls.Mr. Brown, in an executive order, directed the State Water Resources Control Board to impose a 25 percent reductio […]
  • Atheists in Madison get protection
    Think Progress - The city of Madison, Wisconsin announced that it is now against the law to discriminate against atheists, making it the first city in the country to grant explicit legal protection to people who do not believe in a God.According to Hemant Mehta of the Friendly Atheist blog, last night the Madison city council voted unanimously to add atheist […]
  • Other weddings that bakers should avoid serving
    Formerly Fundie 10. Career minded brides-to-be. Let’s make sure we start asking brides what they intend to do after the wedding. The bible is clear- women should be “keepers of the home.” If the bride is career minded or dislikes housework, just tell her “no cake for you!” because you wouldn’t want to endorse a lifestyle that goes against God’s created order […]
  • What war with Iran might cost
    Juan Cole -  Sen. John McCain and others on the American right are in favor of dropping those pesky negotiations with Iran and just bombing their nuclear enrichment sites. Doing so, however, would only set them back a year or so, and would certainly put Iran on a war footing with the USA. Those who think such bombing runs would be the end of the story, howev […]
  • Indiana shut down its Rural Planned Parenthood clinics and got an HIV outbreak
    Huffington Post - Scott County, Indiana, the center of an exploding HIV outbreak, has been without an HIV testing center since early 2013, when the sole provider -- a Planned Parenthood clinic -- was forced to close its doors. The clinic did not offer abortion services.The Scott County clinic and four other Planned Parenthood facilities in the state, all of […]
  • Furthermore
    "Blackwater: Still the Top Pentagon Contractor for Afghanistan TrainingBattle against corporate control of public education grows Obama supports reduction in military retirement pay  […]
  • Jazz break
     Ben Webster plays "Perdido"  […]