Categorized | Media, National, Politics

Food Stamp Surgery

 

Stephen Colbert:  ‘Want Food Stamps?  Become a Massive Corporation’

(VIDEO)

 

Skippy Massey
Humboldt Sentinel

 

 Stephen Colbert has come up with a novel idea.

The Colbert Report host has figured out a solution as to how poor Americans needing food stamps can get them back after the program was removed from the GOP-controlled House’s recently passed farm bill.

His answer is really simple:  Poor people just need to become massive corporations– then Republicans will give them all the welfare they want!

Colbert based his solution on how the Republicans were able to get the most recent version of the farm bill through the House.

He explains that the legislation, which generally provides subsidies for farmers while giving nutritional aid to those in need, had not passed in two years.  Among the reasons a previous version didn’t pass earlier this year is because dozens of Republicans wanted deeper cuts to food stamps.  So in order to get this one approved, the GOP “reached an historic compromise on food stamps by eliminating the food stamps.”

In Colbert’s clip, CBS’ Bob Schieffer layed it on the table.  He called out Republicans for heartlessly removing food stamps from the legislation.

“You pass a farm bill in the House that gives billions of dollars, much of it to large corporations that own farms,” Schieffer told GOP Congressman Mike Kelly of Pennsylvania.  “It’s almost like welfare for the wealthy.  But you don’t include a dollar for hungry people for food stamps.   What kind of message is that?”

Colbert suggested one answer:  food stamp surgery.

“Republicans showed that they can compromise by removing the part of the bill they refused to compromise on,” Colbert said.  “It’s like a cardiologist who’s having trouble treating a patient’s heart.”

“Rather than getting bogged down with complicated procedures, he simply removes the heart.  Problem solved!”

* * * * * * * * *

2 Responses to “Food Stamp Surgery”

  1. SoCoDave says:

    One wonders why this is even called a Farm Bill. $700B of the $940B that was in the bill was for food stamps. Why welfare and farm policy/welfare were put together into an on-going program was/is somewhat perplexing. Personally, I’m against farm subsidies.

    I’m not enamored with food stamps either. But, if food stamp fraud was punishable by 5 years in prison and required restitution, and funding was adequate to monitor potential fraud, I could be persuaded to agree to a system that required stringent rules to allow taxpayer fundsspecific foods to be purchased by those who can’t afford to buy food either with their personal income or other with government they are already receiving with .

  2. SoCoDave says:

    Oops! Didn’t think I hit “submit comment”, but apparently I did. While my previous comment has errors due to posting before completing my thoughts, you either get the point or not.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks


Leave a Reply

HumSentinel on Twitter

RSS Progressive Review

  • Graduation speech
    From 50 years of our overstocked archives[From a graduation speech delivered at Washington's John Eaton public elementary school in 1977. At the time, the school went through the 8th grade.] Sam Smith, 1977 – The title of my speech is “The Future Lies Ahead.” This pretty much sums up what people are meant to say at graduations, so I thought I would take […]
  • Giuliani's misleading black crime statistic
    Washington Post:Rudolph Giuliani [recently cited]a statistic from a 2010 Bureau of Justice Statistics report which did, indeed, conclude that 93 percent of black homicide victims from 1980 through 2008 were killed by black offenders.As our colleague Philip Bump at The Fix noted, Giuliani omitted the comparable statistic in the report for white homicide victi […]
  • World Bank Warns on climate change
    Environmental News Network - As the planet continues to warm, heat-waves and other extreme weather events that today occur once in hundreds of years, if ever, will become the “new climate normal,” creating a world of increased risks and instability, a new World Bank study warns. The consequences for development would be severe as crop yields decline, water r […]
  • Chuck Schumer says something right for a change
    National Journal - Sen. Chuck Schumer upbraided his own party Tuesday for pushing the Affordable Care Act through Congress in 2010.While Schumer emphasized during a speech at the National Press Club that he supports the law and that its policies "are and will continue to be positive changes," he argued that the Democrats acted wrongly in using thei […]
  • What it takes to get Hillary Clinton to speak
     Rosalind S. Helderman and Philip Rucker, Washington Post -   When officials at the University of California at Los Angeles began negotiating a $300,000 speech appearance by Hillary Rodham Clinton, the school had one request: Could we get a reduced rate for public universities?The answer from Clinton’s representatives: $300,000 is the “special university rat […]
  • Obama's "targeted killings" killed 28 people for each target attempt
    Guardian  A new analysis of the data available to the public about drone strikes, conducted by the human-rights group Reprieve, indicates that even when operators target specific individuals – the most focused effort of what Barack Obama calls “targeted killing” – they kill vastly more people than their targets, often needing to strike multiple times. Attemp […]
  • Enquirer says HRC has booze problem
    Those sceptical of the Enquirer should bear in mind that it was the pub that broke the John Edwards sex story. National Enquirer - A  “boozed-up” Hillary Clinton suffered a secret collapse during a recent vacation – and now worried advisers want her to do a secret stint in rehab before her White House run!Sources close to the former First Lady and ex-Secreta […]
  • Coffee & Copious Co-authorship & Causation & Correlation
    Improbable Research - this new study has plenty of something for lots of everyones:“Genome-wide meta-analysis identifies six novel loci associated with habitual coffee consumption,” The Coffee and Caffeine Genetics Consortium, M C Cornelis, E M Byrne, T Esko, M A Nalls, A Ganna, N Paynter, K L Monda, N Amin, K Fischer, F Renstrom, J S Ngwa, V Huikari, A Cava […]
  • How police body cameras work
    HuffingtonPost:[Police body] cameras, which can be worn on sunglasses or clipped to a shirt, have won the backing of both civil libertarians and police groups. Civil liberties advocates argue that video records prevent cops from abusing their authority, while law enforcement groups note that a person cannot falsely accuse an officer if their encounter is rec […]
  • Wilileaks releases more anti-constitutional trade deal info
    Common Dreams - WikiLeaks has released a second updated version of the Trans-Pacific Partnership Intellectual Property Rights chapter, charging that it will hinder affordable access to medicines globally, increase online surveillance, and impinge on civil liberties while benefiting Big Pharma and other corporate interests."Our first impression in readin […]
  • Great moments in research
     Improbable Research “Forming Impressions: Effects of Facial Expression and Gender Stereotypes,” Tay Hack, Psychological Reports, vol. 114, no. 2, 2014, pp. 1-15. The author, at Angelo State University, writes:“In conclusion, the present research adds to existing knowledge of how people form impressions of men and women…. The findings suggest that women may […]
  • Apology to young Americans
    From 50 years of our overstocked archivesSam Smith, 2003 - In observance of the approaching 66th anniversary of my arrival on this planet I would like to apologize to you on behalf of my generation. Even members of Confederacy had the grace to secede from the union; my generation has remained within like a deadly virus, subverting it, shaming it, screwing it […]
  • Want a four day week? Run for Congress
    Washington PostHouse Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy on Wednesday released the 2015 congressional calendar, which sets up the weekly voting agenda for the 114th Congress.The new session of Congress will convene Jan. 6. And that four-day week sets the pace for the rest of the year: By my count, the calendar has no five-day voting weeks and 18 weeks in which ze […]
  • Police 'justifiable homocides' reach record high
    Global Research:FBI data released over the past month reveals that so-called “justifiable homicides” reached a record high last year, while the number of officers killed in the line of duty fell to its lowest level in decades.According to the data, which appeared in a Monday article on the Washington Post web site, 461 American civilians were killed by on-th […]
  • Russia has ban on imports of GMOs
    Global Research - There have been marches, vocal demonstrations, petitions, and laws banning GMOs, but the US is still lagging in the ‘democratic’ freedoms it has promised its people. Russia, on the other hand, has completely banned GMOs, placing a moratorium on their imports for 10 years. The nation rejects GMOs due to numerous dangers, while the US continu […]