Categorized | Scene

Myths and Memories of Alcohol

 

Genie in the Funny Bottle

(VIRAL VIDEO)

 

Skippy Massey
Humboldt Sentinel

 

 

“Ho! Ho! Ho! To the bottle I go
To heal my heart and drown my woe
Rain may fall, and wind may blow
And many miles be still to go
But under a tall tree will I lie
And let the clouds go sailing by”

 ~J.R.R. Tolkien

“It’s a great advantage not to drink among hard drinking people.  First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.”

~F. Scott Fitzgerald

 

“I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I’m under the table,
after four I’m under my host.”

~Dorothy Parker, The Collected Dorothy Parker

“I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.”

~Mark Twain

“For the first twenty years of my life, I rocked
myself to sleep.  It was a harmless enough hobby, but eventually, I had to give it up.  Throughout the next twenty-two years I lay still and discovered that after a few minutes I could drop off with no problem.

Follow seven beers with a couple of scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it’s funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own.  Often I never even made it to the bed.  I’d squat down to pet the cat and wake up on the floor eight hours later, having lost
a perfectly good excuse to change my clothes.

I’m now told that this is not called “going to sleep” but rather “passing out,” a phrase that carries a distinct hint of judgment.”

~David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

 

“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk.  That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”

~Ernest Hemingway

“I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around.  I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.”

~Chelsea Handler, Are You There Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea

“Drinking is an emotional thing.  It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same.  It yanks you out of your body and your mind and throws you against the wall.  

I have the feeling that drinking is a form of suicide where you’re allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day.  It’s like killing yourself, and then you’re reborn.  I guess I’ve lived about ten or fifteen thousand lives now.”

~Charles Bukowski

 

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.  In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”

~Benjamin Franklin

“A lady came up to me one day and said ‘Sir! You are drunk’, to which I replied, ‘I am drunk today madam and tomorrow I shall be sober, but you will still be ugly.”

~Winston Churchill

“Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once.  Drove me to drink.  And I never had the decency to thank her.”

~W.C. Fields

“Alcohol ruined me financially and morally, broke my heart and the hearts of too many others.  Even though it did this to me and it almost killed me and I haven’t touched a drop of it in seventeen years, sometimes I wonder if I could get away with drinking some now.  I totally subscribe to the notion that alcoholism is a mental illness because thinking like that is clearly insane.”

~Craig Ferguson, American on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot

 

“There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.”

~Bette Davis

The problem with the designated driver program is, it’s not a desirable job.  But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it.  At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.”

~Jeff Foxworthy

 

One Response to “Myths and Memories of Alcohol”

  1. Ron Rage says:

    Howdy! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be okay. I’m absolutely enjoying your blog and look forward to new updates.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks


Leave a Reply

HumSentinel on Twitter

RSS Progressive Review

  • Bottom 90% worse off than in 1987
    Washington Post - Once upon a time, the American economy worked for everybody, and even the middle class got richer. But this story has only been a fairy tale for almost 30 years now. The new, harsh reality is that the bottom 90 percent of households are poorer today than they were in 1987.This is actually a much more dramatic statement than it sounds. While […]
  • US deporting asylum seekers
    immigration Impact -Human Right Watch  issued a report last week documenting serious flaws in the procedures used to deport noncitizens apprehended at or near the border—flaws that are resulting in the deportation of Central Americans who face serious harm in their home countries. The report is based on interviews of 35 noncitizens detained in the United Sta […]
  • How Watergate almost didn't happen
    Sam Smith - The passing of Washington Post editor Ben Bradlee has brought back memories of the 1972 break-in at the Watergate and, for me, a story I learned about how the incident almost didn't happen. The Washingtonian Magazine reported a few years ago: Across the street in the Howard Johnson’s Motor Lodge, a “spotter” for the burglars, Alfred C. Baldw […]
  • Word
    Paul (Race Horse) Mitchell, 57, of one address right after another, died on the street here yesterday, unexpectedly, and after a long illness, but mostly from two bullet wounds in his chest... The grief, if it may be allowed to pass for that, was dry-eyed enough but it had those overtones of sincerity which lend a definite, if indefinable, dignity to the hum […]
  • September 11, 2001
     From 50 years of our overstocked archivesSam Smith, September 12, 2001 - Throughout the day came contrasting images of Americans. The indefatigably courageous rescue workers - turned gray and white by pulverized matter. The innocent survivors resourcefully joining hands to follow the one flashlight out of a building or using a cell phone to locate themselve […]
  • Urban farming in Singapore
    NPR […]
  • Climate change could affect the fall scene
    Think Progress - The phenomenon of brilliant red and gold autumn foliage might change due to the large amount of carbon dioxide we put in the atmosphere, and the resulting warmth that carbon traps inside.The higher concentration of carbon dioxide itself might actually make fall colors brighter, Howard Neufeld, a professor of physiological plant ecology at Ap […]
  • Links: Young America
    Young news Colleges & universities Generation gap Statistics Student loans & debt Groups CENTER FOR CAMPUS ORGANIZING EDUCATORS FOR SOCIAL RESPONSIBLITY STUDENTS FOR A DEMOCRATIC SOCIETY STUDENT ENVIRONMENTAL ACTION COALITION Academic Freedom AD HOC COMMITTEE TO DEFEND THE UNIVERSITY FNDTN FOR INDIVIDUAL RIGHTS IN EDUCATION Student Debt Student Debt […]
  • Pocket paradigms
    To accept the full consequences of the degradation of the environment, the explosion of incarceration, the creeping militarization, the dismantling of democracy, the commodification of culture, the contempt for the real, the culture of impunity among the powerful and the zero tolerance towards the weak, requires a courage that seems beyond us. We do not know […]
  • Recovered history: The real Clinton story
    Things the media forgets to tell you about the Clintons and the state that made them.1960s A federal investigation concludes that Hot Springs has the largest illegal gambling operations in the United States. Clinton goes to Georgetown University where he finds a mentor in Professor Carroll Quigley. Quigley writes: "That the two political parties should […]
  • Leading German journalist claims he was forced to write CIA propaganda under his name
    RT, Russia -  German journalist and editor Udo Ulfkotte says he was forced to publish the works of intelligence agents under his own name, adding that noncompliance ran the risk of being fired. “I ended up publishing articles under my own name written by agents of the CIA and other intelligence services, especially the German secret service,” Ulfkotte told R […]
  • Winners in Afghanistan: Corruption and the drug trade
     Paul Shinkman, US News - Corruption is tearing Afghanistan apart, fueled largely by an illegal drug trade that has reached new highs despite billions spent in U.S. counternarcotics efforts. And the U.S., leading up to a full withdrawal in 2016, does not have a plan to fight it.These are the findings of two new reports released over the last few days by the […]
  • What's happening
    Colorado health officials want to ban marijuana brownies @yesmagazine reports that the European Union sets the poverty level at 60% of median income. That's $30,832 in US. […]
  • Links: Words & Writing
    Words & writing news   ESSAYS ON WRITING Post literate America Words & meaning The missing predicate in my life SomeRulesForWriting L.L.C. (SRFW)! A few thoughts about writing Words and cruelty The rise of "fuck" What's a humanities? Cliche challenge Harder to read than Ulysses Just words on words     OTHER Pocket paradigmsQuotations   […]
  • Recovered history: The real Clinton story
    Sam Smith - One of the ways that politicians running for election handle embarrassing stories is to get them out of the way early.  This may explain Monica Lewinsky, after nearly twenty years of quietude, suddenly coming out with a speech in which she essentially blames it all on the media.  But as the conservative commentator Ben Shapiro correctly notes: Wh […]