Categorized | Scene

Myths and Memories of Alcohol

 

Genie in the Funny Bottle

(VIRAL VIDEO)

 

Skippy Massey
Humboldt Sentinel

 

 

“Ho! Ho! Ho! To the bottle I go
To heal my heart and drown my woe
Rain may fall, and wind may blow
And many miles be still to go
But under a tall tree will I lie
And let the clouds go sailing by”

 ~J.R.R. Tolkien

“It’s a great advantage not to drink among hard drinking people.  First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.”

~F. Scott Fitzgerald

 

“I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I’m under the table,
after four I’m under my host.”

~Dorothy Parker, The Collected Dorothy Parker

“I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.”

~Mark Twain

“For the first twenty years of my life, I rocked
myself to sleep.  It was a harmless enough hobby, but eventually, I had to give it up.  Throughout the next twenty-two years I lay still and discovered that after a few minutes I could drop off with no problem.

Follow seven beers with a couple of scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it’s funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own.  Often I never even made it to the bed.  I’d squat down to pet the cat and wake up on the floor eight hours later, having lost
a perfectly good excuse to change my clothes.

I’m now told that this is not called “going to sleep” but rather “passing out,” a phrase that carries a distinct hint of judgment.”

~David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

 

“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk.  That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”

~Ernest Hemingway

“I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around.  I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.”

~Chelsea Handler, Are You There Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea

“Drinking is an emotional thing.  It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same.  It yanks you out of your body and your mind and throws you against the wall.  

I have the feeling that drinking is a form of suicide where you’re allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day.  It’s like killing yourself, and then you’re reborn.  I guess I’ve lived about ten or fifteen thousand lives now.”

~Charles Bukowski

 

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.  In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”

~Benjamin Franklin

“A lady came up to me one day and said ‘Sir! You are drunk’, to which I replied, ‘I am drunk today madam and tomorrow I shall be sober, but you will still be ugly.”

~Winston Churchill

“Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once.  Drove me to drink.  And I never had the decency to thank her.”

~W.C. Fields

“Alcohol ruined me financially and morally, broke my heart and the hearts of too many others.  Even though it did this to me and it almost killed me and I haven’t touched a drop of it in seventeen years, sometimes I wonder if I could get away with drinking some now.  I totally subscribe to the notion that alcoholism is a mental illness because thinking like that is clearly insane.”

~Craig Ferguson, American on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot

 

“There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.”

~Bette Davis

The problem with the designated driver program is, it’s not a desirable job.  But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it.  At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.”

~Jeff Foxworthy

 

One Response to “Myths and Memories of Alcohol”

  1. Ron Rage says:

    Howdy! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be okay. I’m absolutely enjoying your blog and look forward to new updates.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks


Leave a Reply

HumSentinel on Twitter

RSS Progressive Review

  • Bringing justice down to the community
    LA Daily News - City Attorney Mike Feuer announced plans Friday for a pilot program to involve community members in punishing offenders on quality-of-life issues.“It is part of a restorative justice theory, where the community should have restored to it what was taken from it by a perpetrator — and the community should see the tangible impact on the street.” […]
  • Milton Friedman: Killing American softly with his song
    Sam Smith, 2002 - You'd never guess it from the sycophantic obituaries, but Milton Friedman did more damage to American democracy and culture than just about any figure in the 20th century. The sycophancy isn't surprising. Friedman was blessed with it from the start. For example, the supposedly liberal PBS starred him in a ten part series, "Fr […]
  • How some states cheat minority voters
    Common Dreams - Lack of poll workers and low numbers of voting machines are key contributors to long voting lines, and precincts with more minorities experienced longer waits, according to a new study released today by the Brennan Center for Justice at NYU School of Law.Although many factors may contribute to long lines at the polls, little research has asse […]
  • Florida backs down on kindergarden testing
    Valerie Strauss, Washington Post - Last week I published a highly popular post that included a letter that kindergarten teacher Susan Bowles of Lawton Chiles Elementary School in Gainesville, Fla., posted on Facebook telling parents that she was refusing to administer the Florida Assessments for Instruction in Reading, or FAIR. She explained what she said we […]
  • Department of Good Stuff: Journalists
    Dean Baker Russ Baker Richard Brenneman Dan Froomkin Amy Goodman Glenn GreenwaldChris Hedges George Monbiot Bill Moyers John Nichols Greg Palast Robert Reich James Ridgeway Jeremy Scahill Tim Shorrock Jeff Stein Jon Stewart David Swanson Matt Taibbi Mark Thompson Sarah Van Gelder   […]
  • Department of Good Stuff: Good news
    You can't do better than Yes Magazine […]
  • Real economics
     An increase in GDP doesn't pay the cable bill […]
  • UN secretary general to join climate demonstrators
    Ban Ki-Moon, UN Secretary General - The Climate Summit that I am convening one week from today has two goals: to mobilize political will for a universal and meaningful climate agreement next year in Paris; and second to generate ambitious steps to reduce greenhouse gas emissions and strengthen resilience. We are anticipating an impressive turnout of leaders […]
  • Obama telling us one thing about ground troops, his generals another
    Nation - President Obama has repeatedly declared there will be no combat troops on the ground in Iraq to fight the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant. But a Senate hearing Tuesday with top US military officials revealed that pronouncement is on very shaky ground—there is now no question ground troops are under active consideration at the highest levels of […]
  • The real economy
    Census Bureau & Federal Reserve […]
  • Ten ways to cut poverty
    Talk Poverty […]
  • Common Core trashs critics in ad
    Curmudgucation[Update: The video has gone away. The Youtube account "Common Core," a group of filmmakers from around the country, has shut down after only three days.]As your grandad would not say, "OMG!"The media group 617 has produced a video in support of the Core that is apparently intended to embarrass its opponents into silence. It […]
  • Pocket paradigms
    Laws should be handled like prescription drugs, but many of our politicians think of them as being more like popcorn or M&Ms -- something to munch on. This is unfortunate since much of America's success to date can be traced to one simple rule: don't make too many rules. Much of America's failure to date has come from ignoring this rule. - […]
  • Word
    To those who have hunger, give bread. To those who have bread, give a hunger for Justice. - Latin American grace […]
  • Recovered history: How newspapers can save themselves
    From 50 uyears of our overstocked archives Sam Smith, 2009  - It's been about 17 years since I last offered any advice to Don Graham of the Washington Post. He wasn't interested. Oddly, about a year later, the circulation of American newspapers, including the Post, began a slow decline that continues to this day.This morning, however, I was so stru […]